Dating Differences |
24.04.06 |
When you first met, everything was peachy keen. You were always excited to see each other. You spent hours on the phone. You always wanted to be together. If any of your friends wanted to find you and you weren’t home, they automatically call your mate.
Now, you’re always annoyed with each other. He always forgets to lift the seat before he uses the toilet and to put it back down when he’s done. He snores. She nags. She can’t cook. He’s always watching football. She’s always on the phone with the girls. Blah, blah, blah…the complaints and criticism are never ending.
Early in the relationship, you may be thinking the mannerisms are endearing. He said it was ok, that you guys can order out if you get hungry. She said she understood about your love of sports.
The whole point of dating is to find the person who is a match for you. You’re looking for the person who you not only think you can live with; but who is someone you will choose to be with in spite of his or her foibles. It means really getting to know your dates and if you find something you dislike, deciding early on if the trait is something you can accept or a reason to say goodbye.
It may seem minor but faith may become an issue in your relationship. Most people say it doesn’t matter whether their date is a believer in Mohammad or in Buddha while he is a Jew. Yet if you talk about attending your religious services, they may object to your practicing your faith and passing it on to your future offspring. This is why usually one of the pair converts to match his or her beliefs - keeps the peace and builds unity.
In the end, your differences are what will determine whether you stay together. Will you let his stinky socks drive you away? Think about it hard…the answer may determine if you’re together for better or worse.
Should I Stay or Should I Go? |
23.04.06 |
You unexpectedly got out of work early and decide to surprise your sweetheart. You decide to go over to his place and prepare him a fancy dinner. Strangely, his car is in the garage when he’s supposed to be in the office all day. You walk through the house but don’t see him. You do see a trail of clothes…uh oh! You open the bedroom door and catch him in flagrante delicto. What do you do next?
The good news is you can now stop deluding yourself that it hasn’t been happening. The truth is the woman always knows when the guy is fooling around - sixth sense kicks in if no one tells you. Your suspicions have now been confirmed and you can deal with your fears head on.
Now, you may decide to let it pass. It was a one night stand. It was just the one time. It didn’t mean anything, and so on. That’s good. You have a loving heart. Now what if it happens again? If it happens once, it’ll happen again. Maybe not soon, but it will happen again. Do you keep letting it slide?
Can you forgive him each time, even just the one time for betraying your trust? Can you live with the constant fear that he’ll do it again without becoming bitter or hardened? Is the relationship worth saving?
The truth is someone who truly loves you is your friend and your friends would never cheat on you or betray you. They would hold your trust so precious they would not act on the temptation dangling right before their eyes. Martyrdom is for saints.
If you choose to say goodbye, take a breather from relationships. Instead of going on dates and plunging into a new relationship, why not strengthen your family ties or renew bonds with your friends. Take the time to appreciate those who have been loyal to you and who truly love you.
What Are You Really Looking For? |
22.04.06 |
There’s a saying, “be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.” Isn’t it so true? If you know what you want, doesn’t the universe give you the means to achieve it? Think about it. Your dream job, your car, your grades…anything you’ve ever really wanted and were willing to work for, is given to you at the perfect time.
Bet some of you are now going, I want a great looking woman who is kind and sweet. Ladies and gents (for sure some of you ladies were wishing too), it isn’t as simple as that. To make anything come to you, you need to learn to get specific.
Let’s talk about dating. Why are you really in the game? Are you in it just to have fun? Are you in it to find love? Could it be that you are looking for companionship? Whichever the case, you intentions would mean you also have traits that you are looking for.
For example, if all you want is to have fun, then think about what is fun for you and how can this person be a match. Just as if your idea of fun is adventure sports, then a date who is willing to try new sports and may really be into x-games may be who you are looking for.
On the other hand, if you are seriously looking for the person who will be with you for the remainder of your lifetime, what traits would be important to you? Would you like to find someone who is not just a good cook but a chef? Would you like someone who is a great conversationalist? Would you look for someone who is of the same faith?
If you’ll notice, what you’re really looking for is someone who can also be a friend, after all isn’t your mate supposed to be your best friend? In this case, you’d need to truly examine your values and figure out what is really important to you.
Don’t just say you want someone sexy and charming. That is too vague and won’t really helpful in helping you find your match. Even if it’s a bother, be very clear on what you want. The better you know what you look for in a mate, the easier it is to create your personal ad and find dates. You would know exactly what to ask at speed dates and how to recognize if it could possibly this one.
