Dating Differences |
24.04.06 |
When you first met, everything was peachy keen. You were always excited to see each other. You spent hours on the phone. You always wanted to be together. If any of your friends wanted to find you and you weren’t home, they automatically call your mate.
Now, you’re always annoyed with each other. He always forgets to lift the seat before he uses the toilet and to put it back down when he’s done. He snores. She nags. She can’t cook. He’s always watching football. She’s always on the phone with the girls. Blah, blah, blah…the complaints and criticism are never ending.
Early in the relationship, you may be thinking the mannerisms are endearing. He said it was ok, that you guys can order out if you get hungry. She said she understood about your love of sports.
The whole point of dating is to find the person who is a match for you. You’re looking for the person who you not only think you can live with; but who is someone you will choose to be with in spite of his or her foibles. It means really getting to know your dates and if you find something you dislike, deciding early on if the trait is something you can accept or a reason to say goodbye.
It may seem minor but faith may become an issue in your relationship. Most people say it doesn’t matter whether their date is a believer in Mohammad or in Buddha while he is a Jew. Yet if you talk about attending your religious services, they may object to your practicing your faith and passing it on to your future offspring. This is why usually one of the pair converts to match his or her beliefs - keeps the peace and builds unity.
In the end, your differences are what will determine whether you stay together. Will you let his stinky socks drive you away? Think about it hard…the answer may determine if you’re together for better or worse.
What Are You Really Looking For? |
22.04.06 |
There’s a saying, “be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.” Isn’t it so true? If you know what you want, doesn’t the universe give you the means to achieve it? Think about it. Your dream job, your car, your grades…anything you’ve ever really wanted and were willing to work for, is given to you at the perfect time.
Bet some of you are now going, I want a great looking woman who is kind and sweet. Ladies and gents (for sure some of you ladies were wishing too), it isn’t as simple as that. To make anything come to you, you need to learn to get specific.
Let’s talk about dating. Why are you really in the game? Are you in it just to have fun? Are you in it to find love? Could it be that you are looking for companionship? Whichever the case, you intentions would mean you also have traits that you are looking for.
For example, if all you want is to have fun, then think about what is fun for you and how can this person be a match. Just as if your idea of fun is adventure sports, then a date who is willing to try new sports and may really be into x-games may be who you are looking for.
On the other hand, if you are seriously looking for the person who will be with you for the remainder of your lifetime, what traits would be important to you? Would you like to find someone who is not just a good cook but a chef? Would you like someone who is a great conversationalist? Would you look for someone who is of the same faith?
If you’ll notice, what you’re really looking for is someone who can also be a friend, after all isn’t your mate supposed to be your best friend? In this case, you’d need to truly examine your values and figure out what is really important to you.
Don’t just say you want someone sexy and charming. That is too vague and won’t really helpful in helping you find your match. Even if it’s a bother, be very clear on what you want. The better you know what you look for in a mate, the easier it is to create your personal ad and find dates. You would know exactly what to ask at speed dates and how to recognize if it could possibly this one.
What Can I Do to make You Notice Me? |
19.04.06 |
You’ve met the girl of your dreams. She’s absolutely beautiful, drop dead gorgeous, in fact. She is smart and witty and kind. She’s sexy and funny and….in short, she seems absolutely perfect! The only problem is, like the girl from Ipanema, she just doesn’t see you sighing after her.
If you’re really serious about this girl, you need to take stock of your assets and figure out what you have that will attract her attention. For example, if you always see her in the dance clubs you go to, why not ask her to take a spin on the floor. You can show her how well you move on the floor and help her get in the groove.
Why not work on improving yourself while you’re at it. If she’s one who is a fashion plate, then you may want to learn to dress well. You don’t need to buy expensive suits, but do go for colors and cuts that will flatter your body. If you’re not sure how to go about it, you can get some great tips just from watching “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”.
Women look for more in the men they date than just looks. They’ll check if you have substance as well. Why not hone your conversation skills by reading a book or two. Read the paper and know what’s happening in your community and what’s showing in the movies. This way, if she gives you a clue of what activity she likes, you can jump in with a suggestion of where you can take her to enjoy that event. Don’t be shy about asking her for a date!
Most importantly, pay attention to her. Be genuinely interested in her and what she’s talking about. Listen to what she says and try to find common ground between you. You’re more likely to build a relationship with her if she sees as you as a kindred soul rather than a ship passing in the night.
