Dating What Are You Really Looking For? |
22.04.06 |
There’s a saying, “be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.” Isn’t it so true? If you know what you want, doesn’t the universe give you the means to achieve it? Think about it. Your dream job, your car, your grades…anything you’ve ever really wanted and were willing to work for, is given to you at the perfect time.
Bet some of you are now going, I want a great looking woman who is kind and sweet. Ladies and gents (for sure some of you ladies were wishing too), it isn’t as simple as that. To make anything come to you, you need to learn to get specific.
Let’s talk about dating. Why are you really in the game? Are you in it just to have fun? Are you in it to find love? Could it be that you are looking for companionship? Whichever the case, you intentions would mean you also have traits that you are looking for.
For example, if all you want is to have fun, then think about what is fun for you and how can this person be a match. Just as if your idea of fun is adventure sports, then a date who is willing to try new sports and may really be into x-games may be who you are looking for.
On the other hand, if you are seriously looking for the person who will be with you for the remainder of your lifetime, what traits would be important to you? Would you like to find someone who is not just a good cook but a chef? Would you like someone who is a great conversationalist? Would you look for someone who is of the same faith?
If you’ll notice, what you’re really looking for is someone who can also be a friend, after all isn’t your mate supposed to be your best friend? In this case, you’d need to truly examine your values and figure out what is really important to you.
Don’t just say you want someone sexy and charming. That is too vague and won’t really helpful in helping you find your match. Even if it’s a bother, be very clear on what you want. The better you know what you look for in a mate, the easier it is to create your personal ad and find dates. You would know exactly what to ask at speed dates and how to recognize if it could possibly this one.
Take A Hint! |
20.04.06 |
Men can be wonderful creatures. They can be sweet and thoughtful and genuinely caring. They can also be such pains-in-the rear-end; especially when they insist on playing deaf when you say the word NO!
Now folks, persistence is one thing. It has allowed men like Colonel Sanders and Walt Disney to achieve what others stated was impossible. However there is a major difference between being persistent and being a pest.
Maybe you have the mistaken notion that yes means yes, no means yes and maybe also means yes. The sooner you face up to the reality that women actually mean it when they say no, the easier it will be for you. The only answer of women that means yes is…wait for it….the word YES!
Women have been known to date guys they aren’t really interested in as a future partner. They know that you aren’t their match but they see you as a nice companion and enjoy your company anyway. Refusal to listen to when she says she isn’t interested will move you out of the “nice companion” category to the “to be avoided” group.
You may believe that you are being a gallant white knight and showing her how much you care for her. What she may be seeing is someone who can’t take a hint! If you truly love her, be a friend. She will appreciate you more. Be content with having a good relationship with her even if it isn’t a romantic one.
Now, if she’s forced to use the dreaded, “Can we talk?” speech on you and you still persist, on your head be it. Don’t be surprised to have her hiding from you and rejecting your calls. Don’t wait for her to have to be rude to you - she really doesn’t want to do that.
Just a suggestion: go out with more people. Don’t let yourself fixate - obsession really isn’t healthy. You may not find your match as soon as you’d like but if you keep your eyes open, you’ll find her sooner than later.
Put Up The Sign |
30.03.06 |
Everyone talks about wanting to find their match but most can’t be bothered to really make an effort to be found. The guys have the advantage in that they are expected to be out and about, actively prowling for their mate. The women were supposed to wait and be asked. This is not the medieval times anymore folks! Now, if you want to find love, you can do so even if you are scared to leave the comfort of your home (though the chances will of course be lower).
Option 1 is of course the most familiar. Get your family and friends to help you find dates. Let them know you’re available and open to meeting new people. They’re sure to know someone who may not be your soulmate but may just lead you to Mr or Ms Right.
Option 2 is to go speed dating. It’s hunting season and you’re both the hunted and the prey. Make the effort to look your best. Loosen up and make conversation. Try to have fun, not poke fun, with each partner you get assigned. Flirt like crazy and just be yourself. The point is to get everyone interested enough to choose to have a real date with you after the hurry date. You may be lucky to find one possible match or blessed to end up with twenty. Way to go!
Option 3 is easiest for those reclusive souls: get into online dating. Sign up for these dating services. Find one you are comfortable with. Create personal ads, make friends and chat with prospective dates. Get the preliminary getting to know you out of the way without having to leave your room. Of course, there is always the chance that Mr Hunk may be more like Mr Bumps but that’s the risk you take, still you never know.
The bottom line is, no matter which way you choose to find the person with whom you’ll say I do, the important thing is to get the word out and the signs in place. Until you do, you’ll probably just be part of the scenery.
